Where feet may fail

Yesterday my husband resigned as pastor of a church he has led for 30 years. The timing is right in order for the church to move forward with new, younger leadership, but we are leaving after living half of our lives here. This church is not only our job, it is also our friends, our family, and basically, our entire life. At this point, I have a peace about the decision but I still battle the fear of the unknown.

For those who know me well, you know what a worrier I can be. Deep down the trust in God is there but on the surface I am definitely one who needs to be able to SEE the next step. (Think Indiana Jones when he takes the first step onto the invisible bridge…). I am struggling with what that bridge looks like, where it’s at, and what waits on the other side. I am also afraid of having to learn more faith lessons – I haven’t done so well with those in the past. They’re not easy or fun lessons to learn! I remember when Phil and I were first married and in seminary, and our income was negligible. I would hear stories of people who had great faith and how their needs would be miraculously met. I knew in my heart that God would watch over us, but I lived in fear anyway. Looking back, I feel bad about the way I let worry take over, and, yes, all these years later I can see how He provided for us through every life circumstance.

Now I’m standing in front of another invisible path and God is asking me to start walking. I so want to handle this well with the faith that God has something wonderful ahead for us. But I’m also afraid of becoming the ‘old’ me. I have so much more life experience now, and so many circumstances on which I can look back and see how God protected us. I so want to be pleasing to God in how I handle the unknown this time. For those of you who pray, pray that on days where I am tempted to give in to worry, that God will help me recall all that He has done in my life and how faithful He has always been.

One of the songs we occasionally sing in church has taken on new meaning for me during this time. It is my prayer and my hope and I want to share it with you. Enjoy!

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

 

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